What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Why did the kid throw the watch out the window?

So time would fly.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What do you call a child afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the different between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter has a character limit

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Sin Jokes More Sin Jokes

Why are religious people afraid of Trigonometry?

Cos they are afraid of Sin

Why are Christians so bad at Trigonometry ?

They're afraid of sin

Padre Jokes More Padre Jokes

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .

Nickel Jokes More Nickel Jokes

Why did the crowd riot at the Nickelback concert?

Because they didn't get their nickel back.

Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

The dime had more cents.