Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Where's my Spiderman costume?

I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why " 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!

Why do Italian men grow moustaches?

They want to look like their mothers.

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?

Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !

Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?

Because they all joined

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why does Barbie hate Amazon?

because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls.

What do you call a tree that hates this joke?

A face palm.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference between an arts graduate and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family

What's the worst part about admitting to your friends and family you play PokemanGo?

Having to admit you have autism :,P

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What do Twitter users and lollipops have in common?

They're mostly Dum Dums.

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

Branch Jokes More Branch Jokes

What branch of government actually listens to the people?

What branch of government actually listens to the people?

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!

Coworker Jokes More Coworker Jokes

What's an Australian Kiss?

A French kiss down under ;) *first post here, a coworker of mine told me the joke. Go easy :)*

Why should I let you into heaven?

Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here