What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear?

An Amoeba.

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What's the motto of the Singaporean police?

Big Brudder is watching you

What is the term for someone that gets aroused watching Star Wars?

They have a Bobba Fetish

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Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?

She was wearing mittens

Why don't women wear skirts during winter?

They'll get chapped lips!

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What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

What kind of zoo has no animals except for a small, yappy dog?

A shih tzu

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Why did the amoeba flunk the math test?

Because it multiplied by dividing.

What does an amoeba call its friend?

Cell mate.