What's it like to have a social life?

Asking for a friend.

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Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None: Taureans don't like to change anything.

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Whatever's the matter ?

asked her mother. 'I don't know' replied Mary 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'

How do you make an ugly baby?

Ask your parents.

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What did the poor composer say to his friend?

I am baroque, can you lend me some money?

What do you call a girl who friend zones you?

M'lady