What would you like?

ME:What would YOU like W:Excuse me M:No one ever asks you, do they W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.

Previous Random Joke Next

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why thank you... are you single?

Girl: No, I am a dentist.

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

How do you know a girl with leprosy likes you?

She gives you the eye.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?

Because it is below C level.

Why did the Arabic man ask for her hand in marriage?

Because she stole his heart

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

M Jokes More M Jokes

How do you build a boat?

Well Im not sure, but I do Noah guy.

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

W Jokes More W Jokes

What's the capital of Wisconsin?

W

Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired?

he threw out the W's