What's the difference between a turtle and a tortoise?

I don't know but your mother's a whore!

This joke may have profanity.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between organized crime and politics?

One's organized.

Whats the difference between congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes?

The first knows how to read the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle?

Weeeeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

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Tortoise Jokes More Tortoise Jokes

Why did the tortoise get arrested?

Because he got there before the hare.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.