What's the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls out.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?

You cry when you cut up an onion.

What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

I regret nutting!!!

What do a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone didn't pull it out in time.