What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ?

A computer with a lot of bites !

What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill?

One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

Why did the Arabic man ask for her hand in marriage?

Because she stole his heart

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

What did the emu say to the nurse?

A: Mend her bones or walk the plank

What do Hillary supporters call their room mate?

Nurse.

Surgeon Jokes More Surgeon Jokes

What's so funny?

asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Resume Jokes More Resume Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Whats the most common work of fiction?

The average persons resume