Surgeon Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

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What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Why did a surgeon go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What's so funny?

asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

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Why are you so excited?

the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

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What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third?

Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!

How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon?

Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.

Christian Jokes More Christian Jokes

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

What's a Christian's favourite guitar chord?

G-sus

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Why are some musicians so antisocial?

Because all they want is tonics and dominance.

What do you want for your birthday?

Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.

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What do you call a group of cars ?

A clutch !

What's the difference between a girl's track team and a bunch of pigs?

One's a group of cunning runts...

Michael Jackson Jokes More Michael Jackson Jokes

Why did they have to put Michael Jackson down?

Because he couldn't race anymore!

What did Michael Jackson almost name his daughter?

Nata-LEE-HEE!

Brain Surgeon Jokes More Brain Surgeon Jokes

What do you call a group of brain surgeons?

A neural network.

What do you call a brain surgeon that had a C- average?

A dentist

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What Job will Mr Miyagi take on when he retires from Martial Arts?

Plastic Surgeon. Japanese accent "Rax on, Rax off"

Why wasn't the plastic surgeon worried about running out of breast implants anytime soon?

He had a large drawer of chests right there in his office.