Surgeon Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Why did a surgeon go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What's so funny?

asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why are you so excited?

the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

You might also enjoy:

Skin Colour Jokes More Skin Colour Jokes

What did one Muslim say to another in a supermarket?

Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour... ...And then the building exploded.

What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Dentist Jokes More Dentist Jokes

When is the best time to see a dentist?

Tooth-Hurty

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did God say to the cheese that sinned?

Gouda Hell.

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg?

AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

What does an Eskimo do if his house falls down?

Igloos it back together.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of crows?

The end of season 5.

How do you keep a group of women from talking?

Ask the oldest one to speak first.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why was John Lennon shocked when he got his wife's gynecologist bill?

He had misunderstood the doctor when he said "I do probe Ono."

When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.