What's worse than having a screaming child on your hands?

Having half a screaming child on your hands.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do a brick and I have in common?

We both get laid by hand.

Why does Helen Keller play piano one-handed?

She sings with the other hand.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?

That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What did Michael Jackson have in common with Target?

Boys clothes half off.

What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?

They both have little boys' jeans half off.