What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What happened to the ghost who went to a party?

He had a wail of a time.

When is the only time you can park like a retard?

In a handicapped spot.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What is the easiest way for a stressed astronaut to unwind and decompress?

By opening the door.

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened?

Close that damn door! Can't you see I'm dressing??"

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed?

He said he "couldn't find a shingle person to do it."