Whats the emergency?

My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge?

No, Woman, no pie."

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the best part about living in Switzerland?

Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

Whats the difference between love, ture love, and showing off?

spit, sallow, and gargle.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How can you tell when you are talking to an extroverted engineer?

They look at your feet instead of theirs.

What does a parrot named Larry talk about?

Vocabulary

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

Suffocate Jokes More Suffocate Jokes

How do you suffocate a redneck?

Tape his mouth shut.

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

Stupid Question Jokes More Stupid Question Jokes

What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!

How was the beach?

You hang ten or what " No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation