When a programmer is born, what are their first words?

Hello world!"

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What happened in China on Christmas?

The Rice-child was born.

What do you call a bear that's not drunk?

So-Bear!

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Why did the programmer die in the shower?

He followed the shampoo instructions.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

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What's another word for knowing that you're right?

Woman

Why do we need to be learned English?

Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"