When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What was the Walrus doing in the Tupperware store?

Looking for the tight seal

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man?

A pizza can feed a family of 4 (I'm black so I can say this)

Why didn't Mario put more toppings on his pizza?

Because there wasn't mushroom on it.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

because cot(0) doesn't exist ... This joke... it burns my eyes...

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11 ?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How do those even fit in your pants?

He replied "They fit like a glove."

Why did the hunter scold his blonde wife after she shot a moose over quota?

Cause when he asked her why she shot it, she replied: "I asked it what it was before I shot. But that cow wasn't gonna fool me!"