Where do you buy a Walrus?

WalMart!

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Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?

Because they're the largest re-tail-er

Why are there no Walmarts in Syria?

Because there is a target on every corner. Guys, this syriaous.

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Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

Why don't you buy drugs from an Emo?

Their stuff is always cut.

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Why does a walrus love Tupperware?

Because he's always looking for a tight seal.

Why did the walrus go to the tupperware store?

Because he wanted a tight seal.