Where's the best place to weigh a pie?

Some-where over the rain-bow... Weigh a pie.

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Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

What is the best place for politicians?

Election posters. There they are portable, silent and easy to remove.

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What is the value of Pi?

Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Where do you weigh pies?

Somewhere over a rainbow...

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What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing ?

An elephant's shadow !

What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything?

King Kong's shadow.