Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Who's your Daddy?

In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...

What does an egg say to another egg?

Nothing, eggs can't talk.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

Hit him in the face with an axe

Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?

He had a chicken stapled to his face.

M Jokes More M Jokes

What starts with an 'M', ends with 'arriage', and recently made me the happiest man alive?

Miscarriage

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Pantry Jokes More Pantry Jokes

Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody

What do you call a pantry full of lesbians?

A lick-her cabinet

Nutella Jokes More Nutella Jokes

Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody

Why do lesbians hate Nutella?

Because it's not nut-free