What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other?

Same time next month?

How can you tell baseball players are smarter than football players?

When was the last time you saw a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What date is it today?

2nd April. Ha!! April fool!

What's not 50% off today?

Health insurance

M Jokes More M Jokes

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a Pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four. Im sorry if I've offended any pizzas.

What starts with "M" ends with "arriage" and recently made me the happiest man on earth?

Miscarriage

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Why shouldn't you let a Pokemon take a shower with you?

He might Pikachu.

What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

A toe-mat-o.

Itune Jokes More Itune Jokes

What's the Pope iTunes play-list name?

Pray-list.

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

W Jokes More W Jokes

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.

Whatya doin?

Me: I fixed the toilet so I'm adding Potty Fixer to my resume W: You mean Plumber M: DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSE SCIENTIST