What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did russian judge say to the jury?

I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.

What time is it when yo mama sits on a chair?

Time to buy a new chair.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

What do you call a shoe with no grip?

A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)

M Jokes More M Jokes

How can you tell if there's a mosquito in your bed?

By the "M" on his pajamas.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

Itune Jokes More Itune Jokes

What's the Pope iTunes play-list name?

Pray-list.

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

W Jokes More W Jokes

How do you do it w/ 4 kids?

Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.

How can you make a witch itch?

Take away her "W."