Why do lesbians hate Nutella?

Because it's not nut-free

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Why do you hate me?

me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?

He couldn't stand all the racket!

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When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches?

Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets

What do straight guys and lesbians have in common?

They both like girls

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Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody

What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella