Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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How manny women dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one she hokds the blub and the world revolves around her.

How does a feminist screw in a light bulb?

She doesn't, she just holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

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What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

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What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking