Steven Hawking Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the cowboy say as he walked into a German car garage?

Audi

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why doesn't Mr. Jinks babysit his brother's daughters?

He hates nieeeeeeeeces to pieeeeeecesssssssss!!!!!!!

Why do the French stink?

So blind people can hate them too

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

What should you do before cooking the vegetables?

Remove the wheelchair

What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable?

A fruit doesn't need a wheelchair

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What did the vegetable say to the dj?

lettuce turnip the beet

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why does Caitlyn Jenner feel like her kids see though her?

I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks?

The closing of the Borders.

Why is Jesus' body bread?

Because given enough time it rises

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What were the political views of the librarian?

She wanted open borders.

Why Republicans cannot swim as freely as they want?

Dems!

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What does a rapper use to write their songs?

Word,yo.

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?

Happy Birthday To Gnu!"