Why did Amy Schumer go to a psychic?

Because it's the only way she'll ever get near a medium.

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Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?

Worm your way out of that one then!

What did you like most about your last job?

ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it.

Amy Schumer Jokes More Amy Schumer Jokes

Why couldn't Barbie get pregnant?

Because they cast Amy Schumer and Ken couldn't get the job done.

How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?

Piece of cake.

Medium Jokes More Medium Jokes

Why couldn't the fortune teller fit into her shirt?

Because she's a medium

What do you say to someone who studied media at university?

Can I have fries with that please?