Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ?

When your nose touches the ceiling !

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A tyrano-snore-us rex.

What fun drink can put your kid to sleep?

Bleach

Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

What has 100 legs but can't walk?

Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it

What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?

Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning?

Straight talk.

Why do ruler manufacturers make a big thing about them being shatterproof?

Was there a ruler shattering epidemic that necessitated this