Why did the tractor trailer mechanic always have half an erection?

Because he was constantly nursing a semi.

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Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What has got two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog!

What has two legs and can't stand up?

Half a cat

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

What do you call a nurse with flat knees?

The "head" nurse.

Semi Jokes More Semi Jokes

What do I have that FC Barcelona doesn't?

A semi

Who would want a "Semi" tattoo on their colon?

Not that there's anything wrong with that....