Semi Jokes

Why did the tractor trailer mechanic always have half an erection?

Because he was constantly nursing a semi.

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Who would want a "Semi" tattoo on their colon?

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

What do I have that FC Barcelona doesn't?

A semi

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What does the man say when he walks into the bar?

Can I please get a drink "

An IPv6 packet is walking out of the house.

He goes nowhere.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

Why did the surfer join ISIS?

Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.

Truck Jokes More Truck Jokes

Why did the armadillo cross the road?

It didn't, it made it halfway and then got hit by a truck.

How much does a truck full of bones weigh?

A skeleTon

Rig Jokes More Rig Jokes

Why couldn't Hillary rig the election like she rigged the DNC?

She deleted that email.

Whats the difference between the government and a stripper?

Strippers don't rig their polls.

Trucker Jokes More Trucker Jokes

How can you tell that truckers like nuts?

They always have pecans! (Read aloud)

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

Retard Jokes More Retard Jokes

What do you say when someone makes a racially insensitive comment?

That's insensitive, you retard.

How do you get a retard to leave you alone?

Give him a small $1 million loan

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble?

Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville.

Why was the doctor stressed?

He was losing his patients

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Whats an Italians favourite part of football?

Half time, they get to switch sides again

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.