Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game?

He got suspended.

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Why can't New Yorkers play chess?

They're short 2 towers.

Why can't moccasins play the blues?

They've got no sole.

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Why was Selena Gomez suspended in elementary school?

Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself.

What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale?

Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.

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What's Jesus' favorite car?

A Christler.

How can we supply that many?

Jesus: *winks at camera*