Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly?

They want to finish before it's cool.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Which fruit wanted to run away and get married, but couldn't?

Cant-elope :D

Why did Mitt Romney feed his cows money?

A: He wanted rich milk.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?"

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults?

You'd spill your drink.

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What do you call a WWII battle that finished it's senior year at communism school?

Leningrad

Why does the NBA finish in June?

She likes it.

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

How do you poison a hipster?

Gluten

How much does the average Hipster weigh?

About 74,000 Insta-grams.