Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

Because they don't like conventional ovens.

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Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

Why do pterodactyls use the bathroom so quietly?

Because their p is quiet.

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What's a funny non-racist joke a Polish person would laugh at?

Just trying to make a Polish girl I like laugh

What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?

A little otter

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What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach?

Microwaves!

Where do fleas go to surf?

A: To the microwave.

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Why did the hipster never catch a fish?

Because he didn't go in the mainstream

Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Because it's the first Indy movie.