Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

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Door Jokes More Door Jokes

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know he hasn't opened it yet.

What did the handless box get for hristmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How many Heisenbergs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

If you know the number, you don't know where the socket is.

Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

What are the chances you know an Olympic gymnast??

A stretch

What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.