Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

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Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

What do you call a herpes pun?

a play on warts

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally