Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

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What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ EDIT: This blew up. (No pun intended)

What do you get if you are telling puns while jogging?

A running joke.

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Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes?

Because they take everything literally.

Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.