Pun Jokes

Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

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What do you call a herpes pun?

a play on warts

What's the deal with reddit being obsessed about puns?

I've never... META ... group of people so obsessed with puns before.. Fine, I'll leave :(:(

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

Why was the pun so offensive?

It was homophonic.

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

Why aren't puns called pows?

It is a play on words, after all

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

What type of jokes do Sikhs hate?

Puns

What do you call a funny baked good?

a pun

What did they start calling Kim Jong Un after he shed 60 kgs in weight?

Kim Jong Un what you thought it was Slim Jong Un? Sorry but you are not allowed to make puns on your supreme leader's name in North Korea

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Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue?

Mandel broth Ha ha ha The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

What's pun plus pun?

Poo

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Which one of the ten men won the pun contest?

No pun in ten did!

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ EDIT: This blew up. (No pun intended)

What do you call a pun in a marathon?

A running joke

What's the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff's Notes?

A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays

Why are steak puns so rare?

Because they are never well done.

What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself?

One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

How can U make a difference?

Good Mourning! *(this pun is baaad and I feel terrible about it)*

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

What do you get if you are telling puns while jogging?

A running joke.

Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

What do you call a mountain of puns?

Mount Cleverest

What's that difference between a pun and a dad joke?

Dad jokes are punnier.

Where do you put a hot dog?

On a pun.

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

What are some towing related jokes i can impress my car club coworkers with?

I've already got that the frog called our car club to get toad, but that's about where my puns end.

What are people afraid of puns called?

Homophonic I'm sorry...

What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?

OC High humor

Why did the dad make the joke?

For the pun of it.

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Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call it when the women in the back of a mexican brothel talk after working all night?

Whorechata. Probably my best original, lemme know what you think.

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.

I woke up exhausted!

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

What did one termite say to another in a burning building?

Barbecue tonight!"

What do you do when Ronda says "Not Tonight"?

Kick her out of bed

Sushi Jokes More Sushi Jokes

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's the darkest joke you know?

I've always been a fan or dark humor, so, what's the darkest joke you know. no boundaries, no getting offended. please don't downvote anyone because you find it offensive, that's life, get over it.

How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?

A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Where do dads keep their jokes?

In their dadabase.

What do you call a dad that works at a grocery store?

Baghdad

Cliff Jokes More Cliff Jokes

How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff?

Tell them it will "cleanse toxins."

Why did the idiot drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff?

He wanted to try out his new air brakes.

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

How does Mulan's boyfriend explain himself when she caught him smoking pot?

Shanghai

What was the other reindeer's name?

Olive.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a preschool and a terrorist training camp?

Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a Rap artist?

art