Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

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Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

How do you understand women?

I really just want to know.

What do you call empathetic bovine?

understand bull

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns?

Because they always take things literally.

Metaphor Jokes More Metaphor Jokes

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally

What's a metaphor?

Winning the game tournament!