Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?

I replied.

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What does former Vice President Gore play on the guitar?

An algorithm

Why doesn't anyone watch women's hockey?

The games take 3 months to play!

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What's better than winning a silver medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded

Where did you get that gold watch Joe?

Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it Joe: Three a policeman the owner of the watch and me!!

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What do you think you're doing?

the observant teacher asks. To which he replies... "writing an ese"

When one points and asks his friend, "Is that statue a foot?

To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."

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Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

What can run out before you've had a chance to use it?

Slaves.