Why would you be scared to get Ebola?

You haven't left your couch since 2011.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

Why are people leaving the Ukraine?

I don't know but they sure are Russian.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

Why did the couch give the table a dollar?

Because it was for chair-ity

Who the hell buys furniture online?

Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay

Ebola Jokes More Ebola Jokes

How do you call someone named olaf with ebola?

Ebolaf

Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.