Why would you be scared to get Ebola?

You haven't left your couch since 2011.

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How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious. xD

What's the difference between the US and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.

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Why would you be scared to get Ebola?

You haven't left your couch since 2011.

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

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Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.

What do you call a bowl on the internet?

Ebola