How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What do you call a sleeping police officer?

An undercover cop.

Why was my other pillow jealous?

Because I like to sleep around.

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco