How can you tell the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

The picture doesn't scream when you hang it.

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why did Jesus hang on the cross for three days?

He forgot the safe word.

What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What Did Superman Tell Superwoman?

Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)

What did the apple tell the annoying orange?

Citrus down.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?

A: By witchful thinking.

What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror?

A: A camera that takes pictures of itself.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's worse than having a screaming child on your hands?

Having half a screaming child on your hands.

What rings twice and screams once?

Ray Charles answering the iron