How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson?

it's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in.

What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave?

Namaste.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What to Australian Trains use as fuel?

Coal-Ala

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why can't you tell jokes in base 8?

Because 7, 10, 11!

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order. :-)

Bathroom Jokes More Bathroom Jokes

What bathroom does Roy G. Biv use?

The colored one.

Why did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate his pizza before it was cool. (Written anonymously in the bathroom at work, a pizza joint.)

Voldemort Jokes More Voldemort Jokes

Why does voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who