Voldemort Jokes

How does Voldemort seal his mail?

With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)

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What do you call a bad riddle?

Voldemort

How did voldemort look like when he was hiding in albania?

Pretty gaunt

What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise ?

Voldetort.

Why does voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

What if Voldemort's last horcrux was his virginity?

Then Harry Potter would have to destroy it ofcourse.

What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?

Hor-crocs.

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

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What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

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Train Station Jokes More Train Station Jokes

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a Train Station?

A Whale Way

Why does voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Han.... Tell Leia after they separated?

May Divorce be with you.*

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

Tyrion Lannister Jokes More Tyrion Lannister Jokes

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How old is Tyrion Lannister?

A: Peter Dinkl-age

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why did the groom want his bride to wear white?

He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.

Why does the KKK wear all white?

Because they hate black, people!!!

Attract Jokes More Attract Jokes

What do Canadian women put behind their ears to attract men?

Their ankles!

Why are TV's attracted to people?

Because we turn them on. / /

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

What do you say to a lady that has to make 100 shirts by tomorrow?

you seamstressed

Why does the swimming pool get laid every night?

Because he makes all the ladies wet.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why couldn't the boy look at the Milky Way?

He was galactose intolerant.

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ?

it has a blue light !

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you stop a metal from rusting?

Use some antioxidants

Why do Women use perfume and make up?

Because they're ugly and stink! )