How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the knife say to the pretty lady?

Nothing, she knew what was coming...

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

What's a man?

Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally , cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

What happens if you see twin witches?

You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld?

Did you ever notice he seems to start off all of his jokes in one of two ways

What are some good Asian jokes you know?

I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party?

The cat ate her.

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?

Because there is lots of school spirit!

O Jokes More O Jokes

What are a musician's favourite letters?

P and O.

How many vowels are in the word 'vowel'?

Four. O, double-u and e.

Neighborhood Jokes More Neighborhood Jokes

What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"

How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood?

The Blacks get car insurance.

Sight Jokes More Sight Jokes

Why do so many guys spit in urinals?

Just seems weird that there are that many dudes who salivate at the sight of a wiener.

What's the difference between Bigfoot and a Mexican with a beard?

Bigfoot is occasionally sighted