How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

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What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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How long can 7 ride 8?

Til infinity.

Why do black cats never shave ?

Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas !

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What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)