8 Jokes

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt."

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What do you call a pack of 8 Timbits?

A Timbyte

What do you call a black woman who has had 8 abortions?

A crime fighter.

This joke may have profanity.

How long can 7 ride 8?

Til infinity.

Why is 7 afraid of 8?

It's not, numbers don't have emotions.

Why was 7 afraid of 8?

Because 8 nined 10.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Apparently not 8

What do you get when you have an ant with 8 legs?

An uncle that has to build a bigger shoe closet...

Why are women such bad drivers?

Because they are constantly lied to about what 8" is.

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

What's the difference between an 8-ball and a baby?

Eric Clapton would never let an 8-ball fall out the window!

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What is Australian cuisine called?

Prison food

Why is 8 scared of 7?

Becaauuuussseee 7 8(ate) 9. You get it huh?

What's Karen Carpenter's Phone Number?

8 nothing, 8 nothing, 8 nothing.....

Why did the pop star die of hypothermia?

Because he had too many fans! (thanks George - aged 8)

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

What is the square root of 69?

Ate Something! ("8 something", actually 8.306)

Whats the difference between a hippy chick and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in, it doesn't follow you around for 6 months trying to get spun. 8)

What music is good to listen to while having a snack?

8 a bit music.

What are 8 Nougat-Bits?

One Nougat-Byte

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."

Why don't jokes in base 8 work?

Because 7 10 11

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8.

What happens when you flip an 8 to it's side?

Everything, given enough time

Why is Microsoft going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7.. 8.. 9

What does my girlfriend and Windows 8 have in common?

they are both 8........

Where do black person go to travel cross-country?

The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)

Why do women make bad engineers?

Their whole lives they have been told 5 inches is 8

What did the hotel clerk tell the guest with paruresis during check in?

Your in 8.

What do programmers and obese people have in common?

They both call an 8-course meal a bite.

What do you get if you group 8 sodium atoms together?

Batman.

Why could 8 see that 6 was afraid of 7?

Because 7 was mean. Get it?

What is Santa's favorite music?

Wrap! (I came up with this when i was 8.)

What's worse than watching your brother do a double barrel roll over 15 cars on a motorbike?

Having to watch him do a half barrel roll over 8 of them. R.I.P. Bobby. Never forget.

What do 8 hobbits make?

A hobbyte.

Why do women prefer 77 more than 69?

Because they get 8 (ate) more.

This joke may have profanity.

Why are manhole covers circular?

Because Rouleaux triangles are too hard to manufacture. What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte.

What 8 letter phrase means a healthy scratch?

Tim Tebow

Why are jokes in base 8 not funny?

Because 7,10,11!

What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans?

vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim.

Why aren't jokes in base 8 funny?

Because 7, 10, 11.

What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.

How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across ?

Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Wellup and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10?

Because Windows 7, 8, 9. I'll see myself out.

What, over in 6 seconds?

No, with 8 black men and a gun."

What's it called when a planet orbits its sun 8 times?

An orbyte

What has 60 legs and 8 teeth?

The front row of a Country concert

What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?

A: The front row of a Garth Brooks concert!

What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies?

A garbage truck

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

Why did 8 break up with 7?

Because 7 always came first!!!

What has 8 legs and 7 arms?

Def Leppard

How long does 8 sleep for?

Forever.

Why is it customary to drink 8 mojitos a day in Cuba?

It's the Hemming way.

What kind of money does Mario use?

8-bitcoins

What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby ?

20 minutes, thermostat 8.

Why did 6 and 8 dislike 7?

They thought 7 was pretty odd.

What has got 8 legs and 1 eye?

2 chairs and a half of a fish.

Why do black cats never shave ?

Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas !

What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?

a hobbyte Cortana told me that joke

What did 0 say to 8?

Why's your belt so tight bruh

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

Why was 8 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

Why does 7 and 8 feel very uncomfortable?

Because they're stuck between a 69.

What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him?

Shoots him 8 times in the black.

What do you call 8 rabbits?

a rabbyte

What do you call a family of 8 rabbits?

One rabbyte

Which character do you most identify with?

Ross 8. Which is your least favorite character Ross

How many fingers does the dragonborn have?

8 fingers and 2 Thu"ums... Unless the dragonborn only has a Haafingar

Why do women prefer a 77 instead of a 69?

Slightly NSFW) Because they get 8 more.

This joke may have profanity.

What 8 letter word is read the same way backwards and forwards?

Dyslexia

What are 8 Hobbits?

One hobbyte.

What do you call a group of 8 rabbits?

A) Rabbyte!

What 8-letter word has one letter in it?

Envelope.

What country has 6 faces, and 8 points?

Cuba

Why does 8 hate 7?

Because 7 8 9

What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?

An octopus " "No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt.

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Why did Microsoft skip to windows 10?

Because 7 8 9.

Why does windows 9 not exist?

Because 7 8 9.

12 Inch Jokes More 12 Inch Jokes

What's 12 inches and white?

Nothing.

Why can't your hand be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot..

Red Jokes More Red Jokes

What's black and white with red all over it?

A nun with multiple stab wounds.

Why does Yellow hate Red?

Because Red Blue Green.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Gary Glitter?

10 "number 1's" and a not guilty verdict

Elizabeth Jokes More Elizabeth Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

Firetruck Jokes More Firetruck Jokes

What do you call two Mexicans on a firetruck?

Hose A and Hose B.

What do you call two Mexicans on the back of a firetruck?

Jose and Hose B

4 Wheel Jokes More 4 Wheel Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

What has 4 wheels and flies?

A garbage truck

Queen Elizabeth Jokes More Queen Elizabeth Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne ?

Sat down !