How does Voldemort seal his mail?

With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)

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Mail Jokes More Mail Jokes

Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails?

She was always using fowl language.

Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC?

Because it was on old croc.

Seal Jokes More Seal Jokes

What do seal hunters and teens have in common?

They both love clubbin'

What will you have?

The seals says, "Anything but a Canadian Club."

Voldemort Jokes More Voldemort Jokes

What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..