How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

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Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways... Five.

What did the hill that was counting its pocket change say to the other hill?

Don't worry, I'm just amounting.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What is a toad's favorite kind of beer?

One with a lot of hops.

Why do rabbits prefer IPA's over other kinds of beers?

Because they use extra hops

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

What do you call a steak that is cooked wrong?

A mistake

What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad?

I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Who are you and how do you get the time and money?

Teach me.

Why do blacks raise chickens?

To teach their kids how to walk.

4 Year Old Jokes More 4 Year Old Jokes

What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window