What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a pope dies?

Another pops up.

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What will people say when Prince Charles dies?

Long live the Queen.

What were people doing during the last ice age?

Chillin.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What's the difference between a firstborn prince and a baseball?

A baseball is thrown to the air.

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE *drops mic*

What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?

Ayyee essay, where are you going

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What did Johann Sebastian Bach do when someone steam-rolled his organ?

He played a flat baroque piece!

What kind of car does a Japanese chef drive?

Rolls Rice

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why did god invent whiskey?

x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world

What's the difference between God and an electrician?

A: God doesn't think **he's** an electrician.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What beer do elderly rednecks drink?

Silver Mullet

What's musical and holds gallons and gallons of beer?

A barrel organ.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

Swear Jokes More Swear Jokes

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Why do brown women wear red dots on their heads?

Because they record everything. (I swear I made it up n I'm brown too)