How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

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Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?

To find a tight seal

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

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Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

Which wiki do dyslexic pastry chefs claim to be trying to visit before getting arrested?

www.filopedia.org

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What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?

She had a ball

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.