What am I gonna do with a river?

Could you cry me a beer

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

How did people know Patrick Stewart was crying?

Because he bawled.

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

River Jokes More River Jokes

What do beavers do to a river?

God dam it

What do you call paddling down a river of skim milk?

white water rafting.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?

Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

Why did they stop serving beer at Miami Marlins games?

They didn't have enough pitchers.