What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What strengths do you bring to the job?

long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

What is the difference between Emo teenagers and your lawn?

Your lawn won't cut itself.

What do pink flamingos have on their front lawns?

Plastic Italians.

Mow Jokes More Mow Jokes

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.