What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

Jesus

God Jokes More God Jokes

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

How is God just like a regular man?

If you're not on your knees, he's not interested and you know what they say, abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers.

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.

Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

Mow Jokes More Mow Jokes

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.