What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

God Jokes More God Jokes

What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god?

Me: oh, um, science.

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

Backup Jokes More Backup Jokes

What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

Noah Jokes More Noah Jokes

Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards?

A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!

Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said "Go forth and multiply" ?

They couldn't they were adders !

Format Jokes More Format Jokes

Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar?

Because he was sheet faced.

How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nun.