What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

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How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

What will it be for you, my friend?

the vendor asks. "Make me one with everything"

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Why did the doctor go the furniture store?

Because he needed a stool sample.

What does the doctor say after colonoscopy?

See ewwww later!

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What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?

Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama.

What's Shakespeare's favorite video game?

Sonnet the hedgehog

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What kind of TB do potatoes get?

culosis.

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

TB

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Why must you question everything I say!?

Everything " I replied

What do you call a Vulcan philosopher who only responds in questions?

Spocrates.