What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

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Harvard Jokes More Harvard Jokes

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

Accept Jokes More Accept Jokes

Why did Nietzche's Shop go out of business?

He accepted eternal returns.

How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.

Yale Jokes More Yale Jokes

Why did Blacula get kicked out of a Yale Halloween party?

The party was for "Wights only."

What 11 letter word does every Yale graduate spell incorrectly?

I n c o r r e c t l y